“The Prenatal Class”, by Patrik Sampler, appears in Issue 3 of The Alarmist.
The instructor shows us a movie: primitive humans filmed in real-time without music or cuts for four hours. Near the end, drone music rises in the soundtrack. In a forest, the primitive humans discover a speaker from which the music emanates. They crowd around it and say “hello” in different modern languages as if expecting it to recognize one of these languages and respond. Until this point in the film they have spoken only in grunts. The movie ends, and the instructor says: “I don’t have to tell you what this has to do with childbirth.”